Another Karyn Purvis method that I've been using nonstop is the concept of two choices. You give children two choices in order to help them feel empowered and to let them know that they have a voice. Over time, this builds confidence and connection.
So I have been throwing choices like there is no tomorrow. "Do you want the big spoon or the little spoon?" "Do you want to scoot your chair in or do you want me to scoot it in?" I make up things to give choices about all day long. Slowly, it is building trust between us. It is also a great, non-nagging way to practice asking with respect. You can also use it as a clever way of saying no and making it sound like you're saying yes. For example, my respite kiddo wanted to go to McDonald's for lunch (because they have a playground). So I responded, "we've got yummy sandwiches at home, would you like to go to the park after lunch or do some art?" The child feels heard, feels like she has a say in things, and yet we don't have to go eat junk at McDonald's. Win win!
You can read more about two choices and other strategies in Dr. Purvis's book, The Connected Child.
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