I don’t know where it started, Twitter or YouTube, but there is a running joke going around the interwebs where the punchline reads (a bad word for) “things” + random people group + say. There are some pretty funny YouTube videos out there, but I won’t post the links because of that bad word for things. =) [And, for the record, I thought the Harvard Sailing Team did a genius bit on this a few years ago.]
Anyway, I had the privilege of getting to know a gal in college who is wicked smart, consistently funny, and a great writer. She is also now a new mom and navigating the choppy waters of living in a different country with a tiny tot. She has many hilarious things to say about that, and you can read more on her blog here. Her post on how IKEA can wreck a marriage (and, I would argue, a thumb, a toolkit, and your sense of self-worth) is particularly guffaw-inducing.
Today she posted a string of things on Twitter with a hashtag I will creatively reword as “things no baby ever says.” Having spent the morning with a room full of 1-2 year olds, this struck me right on the funny bone. So enjoy!
“I'm not going to throw this yogurt on the floor. I may not care for it but there's no reason to be rude.”
“It's freezing outside. I'd be a fool to take these mittens off.“
“Hey Mom . . . sorry, didn't see you were on the phone. I'll wait.“
“There are healthy snacks in the kitchen so I don't need to eat this disgusting thing I just found on the floor.”
“I have plenty of toys. Why would I need your keys/phone/remote control?”
“No thanks, I've had enough cheerios.”
“I respect your privacy. I'll just wait outside the bathroom until you're done.”
“Please! I'm a handful. Take a minute for yourself and I'll just wait quietly ‘til you're ready.”
Courtesy of twitter.com/@corinnepurtill
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