It is Well with My Soul

Two veterinarians and a pathology lab at Texas A&M told me that my dog has 2-8 months left to live. It was crushing news, especially since Devo seems to be healing well here at home. He is eating, walking, and even playing (gently) with his beloved rubber chicken. Just as my spirits were lifting at his increased appetite and energy, I got the death sentence phone call. It was a bad afternoon in what has been the worst week of my life.

But these two things I know, down to the very core of my soul. 1. God is All-Powerful and All-Loving. If it is His will to heal Devo, He absolutely will. 2. If Devo dies, there will come a day when his death will make perfect sense to me, and I won’t be angry and I won’t be sad. It may not happen during my lifetime, but I know that when I meet Jesus, it will all make sense, so much sense that I will praise Him. And so I can sing, It is Well with My Soul.

It is not well with my heart. My heart does not feel like it is breaking; it feels like it is being crushed. It has been in this crushing process for several months now, really for about as long as I have known I want to dedicate my life to orphan care. And because I know God’s goodness, I believe this crushing is for my good and for God’s glory. If my coal black lump of a heart needs to be crushed to make it purer and brighter, then I submit. I sob and plead, but I submit.

Often God ministers to me by calling to mind a hymn that runs through my head. I took a long walk after that phone call, and found myself humming It is Well with My Soul. It has helped me keep this potential tragedy in perspective—I have been tremendously blessed in my life, and a dying pet is really a very small tragedy in the list of potential life tragedies. The author of this hymn, for example, lost his fortune, his young son, and then all four of his daughters in rapid succession. (From a great book about the stories behind 150 hymns: Then Sings My Soul, by Robert Morgan) I am comforted by the fact that he was able to write such faithful words in the face of sweeping tragedy. Mostly, I am comforted by the truth this hymn so eloquently states. Our sins have been paid for; our sorrows are brief; we will spend eternity discovering the infinite depths of God’s love for us. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18