Yesterday in a foster parent training I watched a documentary entitled "Healing Neen." It chronicles the life of a woman, Tonier Cain, who suffered extensive abuse, trauma, and neglect as a child. As an adult, her life was marked by drugs, prostitution, homelessness, and repeated incarceration. Miraculously, after nineteen years of this life, she entered a program of what is called trauma-informed care which transformed her life beyond all recognition.
It is both a deeply disturbing and profoundly inspiring story. You can find out more, and download a shorter version, at the website www.healingneen.com. It is a pretty graphic film (mom, don't watch it), but it shows the extent to which trauma, especially early trauma, shapes behavior. To my surprise, watching it gave me a much greater sense of compassion for the parents whose children are removed by the foster care system. Tonier's life shows how that system can fail disastrously on both ends of the spectrum. It sounds trite to say it makes you think, but it really does. Beyond the limitations of the system, however, Tonier's story shows how the cycle of abuse, neglect, and trauma can seem inescapable. It gives testament to the saying "hurt people hurt people." But her story also reveals that redemption is possible, drastic reinvention can happen.
Watch it if you can (except mom, seriously, don't watch it).
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